When Parents Forget to be Partners
by Jean Kim, M.D
Jill Caryl Weiner’s innovative 2013 book “When We Became Three” provides a gentle, nonconfrontational reality check for families in the throes of childrearing. Subtitled “A Memory Book for the Modern Family” it is full of friendly prompts and fill-in-the-blank sections to document milestones in the transition from couple to family. Aside from the usual sections documenting amazing moments in a baby’s development, the book helps the family develop a personal narrative, a story that encompasses the initial love of the couple, and how that love is solidified by the joining of baby.
It is a wonderful heads-up to the couple that the book starts with documenting special moments of how they came to fall in love, and what they think is special about each other, including their favorite song or vacation spots, their most romantic moments. There are important therapeutic reminders like “things we love about our relationship that we want to preserve after Baby is born.”
The book progresses to help share the parents’ wonder about the new arrival, from each parent’s point of view, which enhances mutual understanding and communication. The book doesn’t flinch from recording tough aspects of childrearing as well, with sections on “Parents’ Long Nights,” “Baby’s First Tantrum,” “First Fears,” and “Diaper Drama” which give the opportunity to bond over the tough times and “projectile poop.” Yet, the overall tone remains interactive, fun, and lighthearted.
Where the book shows even more valuable insight and therapeutic purpose is in the next-to-last section “Now That We’re Three,” where the focus goes back to the couple and their mutual relationship, now that they are parents. The prompts help each parent share what they admire now in the other, after seeing how they have handled their new roles. The prompts encourage the couple to record actual dates they go on together (a nice nudge to go on some dates together now without baby!) and even to honestly note what changed, and what potential romance was foiled (which will signal to the couple how to improve).
In many ways, the book is a secret portable therapist for the family, full of tender wisdom and humor, asking important questions in an approachable manner so the couple can develop necessary insight and realizations into what could otherwise be a harried, stressful time period. The completed result can be a heartfelt diary journaling the complex ups and downs of childrearing, a record full of the honest moments that ultimately enhance love and sympathy and mutual tolerance.
This book, and other approaches as needed, such as couples therapyand more blogs and articles about the parental relationship during childrearing, are a refreshing and important step towards acknowledging this common but underdiscussed problem. Without frank acknowledgement of those stressors, couples are at risk of dysfunctional dynamics, even divorce. Sacrificing everything for your children is important, but not at the cost of the relationship that started it all. A happy couple means a happier family too.
Link: When Parents Forget to be Partners by Jean Kim, M.D.
by Jean Kim, M.D
Jill Caryl Weiner’s innovative 2013 book “When We Became Three” provides a gentle, nonconfrontational reality check for families in the throes of childrearing. Subtitled “A Memory Book for the Modern Family” it is full of friendly prompts and fill-in-the-blank sections to document milestones in the transition from couple to family. Aside from the usual sections documenting amazing moments in a baby’s development, the book helps the family develop a personal narrative, a story that encompasses the initial love of the couple, and how that love is solidified by the joining of baby.
It is a wonderful heads-up to the couple that the book starts with documenting special moments of how they came to fall in love, and what they think is special about each other, including their favorite song or vacation spots, their most romantic moments. There are important therapeutic reminders like “things we love about our relationship that we want to preserve after Baby is born.”
The book progresses to help share the parents’ wonder about the new arrival, from each parent’s point of view, which enhances mutual understanding and communication. The book doesn’t flinch from recording tough aspects of childrearing as well, with sections on “Parents’ Long Nights,” “Baby’s First Tantrum,” “First Fears,” and “Diaper Drama” which give the opportunity to bond over the tough times and “projectile poop.” Yet, the overall tone remains interactive, fun, and lighthearted.
Where the book shows even more valuable insight and therapeutic purpose is in the next-to-last section “Now That We’re Three,” where the focus goes back to the couple and their mutual relationship, now that they are parents. The prompts help each parent share what they admire now in the other, after seeing how they have handled their new roles. The prompts encourage the couple to record actual dates they go on together (a nice nudge to go on some dates together now without baby!) and even to honestly note what changed, and what potential romance was foiled (which will signal to the couple how to improve).
In many ways, the book is a secret portable therapist for the family, full of tender wisdom and humor, asking important questions in an approachable manner so the couple can develop necessary insight and realizations into what could otherwise be a harried, stressful time period. The completed result can be a heartfelt diary journaling the complex ups and downs of childrearing, a record full of the honest moments that ultimately enhance love and sympathy and mutual tolerance.
This book, and other approaches as needed, such as couples therapyand more blogs and articles about the parental relationship during childrearing, are a refreshing and important step towards acknowledging this common but underdiscussed problem. Without frank acknowledgement of those stressors, couples are at risk of dysfunctional dynamics, even divorce. Sacrificing everything for your children is important, but not at the cost of the relationship that started it all. A happy couple means a happier family too.
Link: When Parents Forget to be Partners by Jean Kim, M.D.
Holiday Gift Guide! 16 Fab Finds for Preggos
By Alesandra Dubin
Traditional baby books aren't my style—I don't generally color within the lines. But I love Jill Caryl Weiner's modern version, When We Became Three. Expecting moms can start filling it out in pregnancy, with details like the love story between parents. It's a great way to involve the dad too, and a super romantic holiday nesting activity.
By Alesandra Dubin
Traditional baby books aren't my style—I don't generally color within the lines. But I love Jill Caryl Weiner's modern version, When We Became Three. Expecting moms can start filling it out in pregnancy, with details like the love story between parents. It's a great way to involve the dad too, and a super romantic holiday nesting activity.
When We Became Three: A Memory Book For The Modern Family by Jill Caryl Weiner. This is the most clever and creative baby journal I have ever seen. Chronicling the beginning of the parents budding romance through pregnancy cravings and all the way to the baby ‘s 2nd birthday. Filled with delightful, quirky questions and checklists that make documenting your baby’s first years easy and fun. You will enjoy this precious keepsake for generations. This is the perfect gift for new parents. Available online and in stores at Barnes & Noble, and on amazon.
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Incredible Books For First-Time Parents:
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The Huffington Post wrote a glowing piece about When We Became Three called "You're Never Too Old for a Baby Gift". While When We Became Three makes a great shower gift or baby present, Donna Fish, the writer who is also a clinical social worker, gushed about the joy it could give both new and veteran parents to fill it out.
"... The other day when I was looking for a baby gift for my cousin, I came upon a baby diary book unlike any other. As I leafed through this book called When We Became Three my head started filling up with images of that bewildering and transformative time when my now college-age daughter was born and my husband and I went from two to three ...."
"..."You'd think those moments were lost, but the amount of details I had internalized was fascinating and somewhat thrilling. There was something about how this book framed the prompts that stimulated my memories, but also made it so easy to imagine filling out, and presenting as a gift to my kids the next time they were perusing the old photo albums!"
"For this Mother's Day -- which I always advocate as a time to buy yourself a present -- buy yourself a baby book and relive and record that early history of when your first was born. (Or that early history of your growing family.) Even if you don't remember everything or go through the whole book, there will be an assortment of wonderful memories and feelings that will come back to you -- and you'll be creating a biography of that remarkable time. It's also a compelling way to reconnect with your husband.
"You're Never Too Old for a Baby Gift" by Donna Fish
"... The other day when I was looking for a baby gift for my cousin, I came upon a baby diary book unlike any other. As I leafed through this book called When We Became Three my head started filling up with images of that bewildering and transformative time when my now college-age daughter was born and my husband and I went from two to three ...."
"..."You'd think those moments were lost, but the amount of details I had internalized was fascinating and somewhat thrilling. There was something about how this book framed the prompts that stimulated my memories, but also made it so easy to imagine filling out, and presenting as a gift to my kids the next time they were perusing the old photo albums!"
"For this Mother's Day -- which I always advocate as a time to buy yourself a present -- buy yourself a baby book and relive and record that early history of when your first was born. (Or that early history of your growing family.) Even if you don't remember everything or go through the whole book, there will be an assortment of wonderful memories and feelings that will come back to you -- and you'll be creating a biography of that remarkable time. It's also a compelling way to reconnect with your husband.
"You're Never Too Old for a Baby Gift" by Donna Fish
My Baby Book Fail and Other Maternal Inadequacies
Written on March 13, 2014 at 10:00 am , by Suzanne Rust
Mothers. We are forever finding ways to beat ourselves up about something we did or didn’t do for our children, whether it’s a big or small something.
My friend Jill just recently came out with a wonderful baby book,When We Became Three: A Memory Book for the Modern Family. As I admired her handiwork, I confessed that the subject brought up pangs of maternal inadequacy. I never made a memory book, and with two kids, now ages 14 and 20, it’s probably not going to happen.
Apparently, it runs in the family.
_Author Interview by Jack Silbert
The old-fashioned memory book is having a hard time keeping up with the 64GB memory on your smartphone. So what is the modern parent to do, when it comes to recording baby’s big moments? Author Jill Caryl Weiner has the answer in her delightful When We Became Three: A Memory Book for the Modern Family. It’s funny, smart, sweet, and truly helpful (not to mention the perfect Father’s Day gift for the new or soon-to-be dad). We spoke to Jill about our 21st-century parenting landscape, oversharing on Facebook, and all those bunnies on standard baby books.
The old-fashioned memory book is having a hard time keeping up with the 64GB memory on your smartphone. So what is the modern parent to do, when it comes to recording baby’s big moments? Author Jill Caryl Weiner has the answer in her delightful When We Became Three: A Memory Book for the Modern Family. It’s funny, smart, sweet, and truly helpful (not to mention the perfect Father’s Day gift for the new or soon-to-be dad). We spoke to Jill about our 21st-century parenting landscape, oversharing on Facebook, and all those bunnies on standard baby books.
_10 Must-Remember Moments to Include in Your Baby Book
Having a baby involves many amazing moments, but as your baby grows up it gets harder to remember them all. Jill Caryl Weiner’s new memory book for parents, When We Became Three: A Memory Book for the Modern Family, offers a quirky, easy-to-fill-out keepsake for recording all the special moments you have with your baby. It can be filled out as you’re going through the experiences, or in hindsight. In a baby book, it’s important to record not just the major milestones—such as baby’s first tooth or her first time sitting up—but also the fun, the emotions and the details of what made your baby special. Here are Weiner’s 10 must-remember moments to be sure to include:http://blogs.mom365.com/2015/08/parenting/baby/10-moments-to-include-in-your-baby-book/
Having a baby involves many amazing moments, but as your baby grows up it gets harder to remember them all. Jill Caryl Weiner’s new memory book for parents, When We Became Three: A Memory Book for the Modern Family, offers a quirky, easy-to-fill-out keepsake for recording all the special moments you have with your baby. It can be filled out as you’re going through the experiences, or in hindsight. In a baby book, it’s important to record not just the major milestones—such as baby’s first tooth or her first time sitting up—but also the fun, the emotions and the details of what made your baby special. Here are Weiner’s 10 must-remember moments to be sure to include:http://blogs.mom365.com/2015/08/parenting/baby/10-moments-to-include-in-your-baby-book/
We are really fond of NYC Dad's Group, and they are fond of us as well. Here's their thoughtful review of When We Became Three: "When We Became Three got me thinking about how life changed for us as soon as our son Jake was born. I find it funny that before Jake was born, my wife and I never spoke as much about poop as we do now. And the “Diaper Drama” section got me thinking about how I always find unique goofy solutions to challenges that always pop up at the wrong time. I found myself smiling at the memories of the many times Jake soiled himself and I didn’t have enough diapers left. I was once forced to take him to a public bathroom, and gave him a “bird bath” in the sink. I then put his onesies back on and prayed that I got him home before he had another blowout.
This is the charm of When We Became Three. Every family that buys the book will come up with very different memories. It reminds us how challenging it is raising a child for the first time. Then you laugh at some of the crazy, funny solutions you came up with to solve a problem as traumatic as your baby’s first public diaper volcano.
Weiner says it can be really meaningful. “It’s about the memory and the moments and not just the days,” she said.
This is the charm of When We Became Three. Every family that buys the book will come up with very different memories. It reminds us how challenging it is raising a child for the first time. Then you laugh at some of the crazy, funny solutions you came up with to solve a problem as traumatic as your baby’s first public diaper volcano.
Weiner says it can be really meaningful. “It’s about the memory and the moments and not just the days,” she said.
By Kathy Radigan.
Jill said, “I saw an opportunity to do what no one else had done: create a fun, optimistic, witty & romantic memory book– something that isn’t just a mommy journal or a baby book but that’s a great keepsake about baby, mom – and, yes, dad!”
I love how she took the baby book format and turned it on its head to give parents a really meaningful way to capture this extremely special time in their lives.
To give you an idea of what you’ll see in the book, When We Became Three, I decided to have a little fun and ask some of my favorite parenting bloggers to answer a few of the questions from the book.
Please welcome: Celeste of RunningNekkid, Alyson of The Shitastrophy, Lucy of My Life As Lucille, Janine of Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic, Stephanie of When Crazy Meets Exhaustion and Meredith of The Mom of the Year .....
.... Thanks again to my friends for walking down memory lane with me. If you would like to get a copy of When We Were Three – I can’t think of a better shower or new baby gift — you can get it Here
Thanks, Kathy, for all your time, for including your blogger/mom friends to bring the book to life and for such a great review.
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Jill said, “I saw an opportunity to do what no one else had done: create a fun, optimistic, witty & romantic memory book– something that isn’t just a mommy journal or a baby book but that’s a great keepsake about baby, mom – and, yes, dad!”
I love how she took the baby book format and turned it on its head to give parents a really meaningful way to capture this extremely special time in their lives.
To give you an idea of what you’ll see in the book, When We Became Three, I decided to have a little fun and ask some of my favorite parenting bloggers to answer a few of the questions from the book.
Please welcome: Celeste of RunningNekkid, Alyson of The Shitastrophy, Lucy of My Life As Lucille, Janine of Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic, Stephanie of When Crazy Meets Exhaustion and Meredith of The Mom of the Year .....
.... Thanks again to my friends for walking down memory lane with me. If you would like to get a copy of When We Were Three – I can’t think of a better shower or new baby gift — you can get it Here
Thanks, Kathy, for all your time, for including your blogger/mom friends to bring the book to life and for such a great review.
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